By Madison Slocum-Juarez, October 20, 2026
“Give the ring back and go live your life. You will hate him by the time you hit 30.”
A waiter told me this with a straight face while I sat across the table from my husband on our honeymoon.
Our days were full of love and excitement, and we expected our dinner to wrap up the day perfectly. Instead, it quickly turned uncomfortable. We sat there feeling judged and defeated. Just because we were young, we were disrespected.
This is one example of the daily comments we receive about getting married young.
Getting married in your early 20s is not considered normal anymore. Only 6% of adults get married in their early 20s, according to Pew Research Center.
At 22, there’s an expectation set for me. I’m supposed to be graduating, working, finding my career, traveling with friends, and going to parties. But apparently, adding marriage to that list means I’ve ruined my early 20s, and now I can’t successfully complete anything else.
I guess I forgot to read the book of rules that tells me how to live my own life.
Most people don’t realize I can still do all those things, except I always have the support of my husband. I have traveled, earned an education, hung out with friends, gone on girls’ trips. The list goes on.
Sure, people have valid concerns about young marriage. For example, people change. Your frontal lobe is still developing, and financial or emotional stability can come into play. But with the right person, change can become a learning lesson that leads to meaningful conversations, a stronger foundation and respect for each other.
A study done by Pew Research Center shows in 2023 over 1.8 million people divorced in America. We have taken many steps to ensure we are not a part of the statistics of divorce, including premarital counseling.
Studies by Hannah Williamson shared on The National Library of Medicine show couples who seek premarital classes and counseling are less likely to be threatened by therapy and are more open to seeking help when needed.
But I don’t feel I need to tell every stranger this.
I constantly have to defend myself to strangers about why I made this decision.
“We’ve been together for seven years. We’re stable. We live on our own.”
Explaining this to strangers is uncomfortable. It feels like I need to confess my love for my husband and start restating my vows to strangers just for them to respect my decision.
Just because I have a ring on my finger doesn’t mean I can’t continue to fulfill my life. My life is more fulfilled at 22 than I ever could’ve thought.
The assumption I’ve seen in society is once you’re married, you know who you are, you have your career set, and you’re ready to start a family. But not even all 30- to 50-year-olds know all of that.
Cal Poly Pomona student Porscia Enriquez whose also married, said she doesn’t think there is a perfect age to get married.
“I know people in their 30s who can’t get it together in their marriage, but I also have met people who are engaged or married at 19, and they are the perfect couple,” Enriquez said. “It’s all about context and circumstances.”
Marriage isn’t for everyone, especially getting married young. Life is not a race, but many people believe there is a correct time to get married. Studies from the Pew Research Center show most Americans think 26 years old is the right age.
There is no rulebook for life. Live the life that you want. Not the life everyone else wants you to live.
When we are 30, who knows where we’ll be. What I do know is we will work to ensure we are in a happy, healthy marriage, and I won’t continue to let people degrade my marriage simply because of my age. My decision makes me happy, and that’s all people need to know.
Image graphic by Joey Caraway
