by Breezh Nunez, Nov. 23, 2021

Breakups can be difficult. Stopping a bad habit can be difficult. However, sometimes the harder decisions can be rewarding in the long run. When a relationship ends it can become lonely, especially when you strive to stay single for self-healing rather than jump into a new relationship to easily fill a void. 

After a breakup, taking the necessary time you need to reconnect with yourself is vital to the healing process. It can be easy to fall back into the arms of your ex because the lonely times allow your mind to replay all the good moments both you and your partner shared. 

Sharon Wu | The Poly Post

We sometimes fail to remember the reasons why it ended in the first place. Space and alone time are a crucial part of healing that we sometimes don’t allow ourselves to have. We cut ourselves short of this because we cannot bear the act of feeling alone with our thoughts.  

It can be difficult to allow ourselves to truly heal from past trauma and relationships, and psychiatrists agree that it is normal to feel lonely during the process. 

After my relationship ended, I found myself alone with my thoughts and began seeping back into darkness. 

I became face to face with my reality and realized that my decisions from then on would determine if I was going to move forward or set myself back. I had to break free of what my mind was used to in order to reshape it and begin my healing process. It seemed that for the first time I truly understood that feeling alone is okay because what’s the point of being with someone if you still feel lonely?   

When I felt these feelings rushing over me, I had to take a breath and reflect, as should any who go through this. I had to think about why it ended in the first place and if it would be any different if I returned.

Relationships are supposed to have two partners share mutual love, respect and loyalty. A healthy relationship consists of two partners that each bring in their own happiness and share it together.  

Many times, a person can invest their all in a relationship, but if it is one-sided it will never work out in their favor.  

I’ve learned through my experiences that in order to have a successful partnership, it takes both spouses putting in mutual effort and communication to make it work. After leaving a relationship, many seek out another without taking the time to heal.

This can be an unhealthy decision because you are taking all the insecurities, pain and negative perceptions from one relationship to another. It can be possible to spiral into a cycle of unhealthy relationships rather than taking the time to learn and heal yourself so you can gain happiness from within. Unhealthy cycles can consist of constant fighting followed by a short honeymoon phase, however as many times as you choose to stay in the cycle, the problems will most likely reoccur.  

People often rely on their partners for happiness, when instead both partners should have personal happiness and share it together. Nevertheless, do remember that not every relationship is perfect. 

It takes both time and dedication from both partners. It’s normal to have bumps in the road; It just depends on how both partners handle them.  

It is important to remember that you matter. Do not sacrifice your happiness, peace or self-love for someone that does not value you.  Investing time in your healing process and growth is never a waste. 

Give yourself the chance to fall in love again – with yourself! 


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