By Damariz Arevalo, Sept. 17, 2024
Most students are responsible for themselves, they roll out of bed, get dressed and head straight to class, but my day had already started at 4 a.m.
Coming to Cal Poly Pomona as a transfer student in the fall of 2023 was a mixture of feelings. I was coming to a campus that I have dreamt of attending for so many years but with underlying feelings of anxiety, nervousness and awkwardness since I was coming as a student parent.
I have two boys. My oldest Zander is 10 years old and my youngest Zaiden will be 4 in November. As they grow, it becomes easier to manage time differently, but having a toddler with special needs creates new challenges.
Zaiden is autistic, non-verbal and unaware of his surroundings, requiring more attention and time.
Being a student parent is overwhelming when you have a child who needs supervision and has trouble transitioning. I have to find ways to distract Zaiden with a toy or an activity, so I can complete a timed quiz. That can be frustrating for him. Considering he’s non-verbal, communicating with him is harder to process.
In my classes, I’m required to take 15-minute quizzes. Sometimes, my attention shifts to Zaiden wanting a snack, a bottle or wanting me to play with him. The timer on the quiz continues to count down, forcing me to rush.
Janelle Avila-Mojarro, a mother of two and an agriculture science student, has gone through the same ordeal.
“I felt bad that I had to put a baby gate on my door and give my kid some snacks and toys because I only have 10 minutes to answer the questions,” said Avila-Mojarro. “It sucks because if he comes running in or something happens, I can’t stop the timer. I think there should be some leniency in there because when you are at home and you’re the main provider for your kids, you can’t just say, ‘hold on,’ especially when they are toddlers.”
I have been told by professors to manage my time better or do it when the child is asleep. Not every day is the same. Toddlers keep you on your toes, always having to be aware of what is going on. Some toddlers don’t nap during the day, but every child is different, especially a child with special needs.
A policy for protecting student parents is necessary, one that allows them to have more time during an exam or quiz when taking it online.
Revised attendance policies are also needed, allowing student parents to make up for a class that was missed due to the child’s illness or leaving early due to an emergency. I’ve had to miss class a couple of times due to my children being sick because they can’t go to school, or because I have to pick them up from school.
There are professors who are understanding, usually ones who are parents themselves. But the outcomes can be inconsistent with professors who do not fully understand the challenges a student parent has to face.
Giselle Navarro-Cruz, an associate professor with a doctorate in early childhood studies and a member of the Parenting Broncos Club, understands the challenges since she was faced with the same situation.
“In order to learn, you need to feel a sense of safety and belonging,” Navarro-Cruz said. “Student parents have shared with me that some faculty are amazing while others make them feel as if they do not belong in higher education. I was a student parent myself, and I remember how challenging it was for me and the stigma I felt.”
Last semester, I was a full-time student with classes from Monday through Thursday. In March, I experienced a miscarriage, and it took a toll on my body. I had to talk to all my professors and let them know the situation, and this included a professor for my online class.
I felt fortunate that my professors understood and gave me a week to recover and take time for myself. I caught up with my assignments and all my professors pushed my deadlines for another date. Communication is important between students and professors.
But not everyone has the same story.
Student parents shouldn’t have to choose between their children or their studies. Balancing home and school creates an emotional toll — physically and mentally — because there are no breaks as a parent.
With adding more time on a quiz or an exam, it would provide support and possibly a relief knowing that you have a chance to pass without having to put your child second.
Feature image courtesy of Ruthie Johns
