By Nicole Housh
“What if?” is one of the shortest questions you will ever be asked, but the weight of these two words can weigh heavily on your mind, especially if you are trying to work out a long-distance relationship. You try to banish the thought but something keeps bringing you back to the thought of what could have been if life had worked out differently.
People are full of advice. Some warranted, others definitely not welcome. The piece of advice everyone seems to have on the subject of getting into a long distance relationship is along the lines of “Don’t do it”, “Run” and “Oh sweetie, you really think you’re the exception?”
And the answer is no, my relationship wasn’t the exception.
For a long time I blamed the distance for being our ultimate downfall, and while it definitely played its part, I ” in no way ” regret trying to make it work.
The distance doesn’t cause your relationship to break; it just simply highlights what you already knew wasn’t right in the first place.
During the summer that I spent apart from my then-boyfriend, I watched us slowly drift apart from each other. Week by week the text messages started coming in less frequently, the time between visits grew longer and I started to feel uncomfortable calling first. By the end of summer, I knew what was wrong: Our relationship was one of convenience.
We were built to fall apart before graduation. I guess I always knew our relationship had an expiration date, but I was so in love with him that I chose to ignore the thing that was obvious to everyone but myself.
While my long distance relationship ended, I don’t regret the experience.
If we hadn’t gone through all the break-ups and make-ups and more break-ups and had just called it quits when everyone took it upon themselves to give me advice, I may still be in love with him. Since we gave the long distance thing a try and made promises that would inevitably be broken, I now know we simply aren’t right for each other.
Whether we were a five-minute walk or a three-hour drive, we would have broken up eventually. But if I hadn’t gone through all that I went through, I would be haunted by the idea of “Well maybe if we had tried we could’ve made it work” or “What if I said goodbye to who could’ve been the one?”
Also, just because the statistics are going against you, who says you aren’t the exception? And if you never try you’ll never know.
While pain is often waiting for you at the end of long distance relationship, the pain that will haunt you if you don’t even try will linger far longer than if you don’t give it a shot.
Whether you try to make it work, or just call it quits and say goodbye, both scenarios can end with you breaking up, but only one can end with you together.
Monica Lopez / The Poly Post
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