That’s what she said

By Tobias Jahn

TOBIASJAHN

Lying to women is the only way to play it
safe

There is a time in every man’s life when he should just shut
up.

But man, in his simplicity and joyful thinking, can’t shut up
because it would probably make his life even worse — thanks to the
assumptions of every woman.

The situation I am referring to, in which a man is placed in
this predicament, is that which renders the dumbest but most
powerful of questions: “Do I look fat in this?”

President Obama shouldn’t have worked his whole life for
“change.”

He should have worked on passing a law to forbid this
question.

Relationships would last longer, the divorce rate would
decrease, and guys would save a ton of money to put toward
vacations away from their women.

However, men — in their simplistic nature — answer the
forbidden question to a woman who has made up her mind before
asking.

If you think the right answer is “no you don’t look fat,” you
are terribly wrong.

That answer just gives women a reason to call us liars and
question everything we’ve ever done and said.

Women will turn the situation into an argument by somehow
spiraling down into how every time you ever went out with your
friends you were probably with a younger, skinnier woman that
hasn’t let herself go.

I know most of you don’t even make it this far in the argument
because you tuned out sometime after you heard “liar.”

Now all you’re thinking about is how you have to spend all your
vacation money on flowers and gym memberships.

If you choose to be honest about how she looks in a particular
outfit, she will just start crying, go on a diet and say things
like “you don’t love me anymore.”

Or they’ll blurt out my personal favorite: “This is all your
fault. I was sexy and skinny before I met you.”

So, essentially, there is no right answer.

She wants you to honestly lie to her, and this is the problem
with women.

They don’t even know what they want. They want the truth even
though they probably won’t believe it.

It seems the only thing women are sure about is their shoes.

SARAHELKEAIKATI

Looking for honesty, not fishing for
compliments

So maybe we’re a little bit complex.

Excuse us for needing more than a cold beer to get us through
the day.

Though the infamous “do I look fat in this” situation has landed
many men in the doghouse, and probably kept many florists in
business, it’s really not that complicated.

Most women ask their significant others how they look and expect
an honest opinion.

However, when it comes to appearance, keep in mind that
sensitivity is important to both sexes.

Despite what most men think, women ask this question because we
actually want a legitimate answer.

What a concept.

Not everything a woman says is a subliminal attempt at scoring a
compliment.

Men, of course, should know this because if she’s your woman,
she shouldn’t be fishing for compliments. They should be in
surplus.

If we’re asking you how we look in a certain outfit, we are
unsure about it to begin with.

Turning to you is our way of saying that we trust your opinion
and want you to be involved.

It may not be wise to flat out tell her she looks fat.

As previously noted, sensitivity is important especially in
situations concerning body image.

This, however, doesn’t mean men should feel obligated to say
exactly what she wants to hear in an attempt to avoid conflict

Answering this question is easy.

Simply put, it is not a yes or no question. Think outside the
box, guys. You have more options here.

Instead of quickly saying “no,” which comes off as a lie because
you’ve shot off an answer before you’ve even looked, tell her what
you don’t like about the outfit.

Comments like “the fit is awkward” or “I don’t really like that
color” are more appreciated because they are actually thought out
responses.

Even if fashion isn’t your forte`, you should be able to come up
with an educated opinion on what works and what doesn’t.

Arguments can be avoided if both individuals approach the
situation with a mature attitude. If all else fails, take her shoe
shopping.

Reach Tobias Jahn & Sarah Elkeaikati at:
opinions@thepolypost.com

That

Paul Rosales/Poly Post

That’s what she said

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