By Tobias Jahn
This last summer, I broke up with my boyfriend and got really
close to a guy who is a family friend.
Our parents like to plan vacation trips together every so often,
so we practically spent the whole summer together this year. It was
I was really vulnerable after breaking up with my boyfriend at
the beginning of the summer, so the guy was right there to support
me and get me through it.
When we were spending all this time together, he thought he was
clearly sending signals that he wanted me as more than just a close
I totally misinterpreted this because the gestures he made were
very common to me.
I didn’t want to make a commitment with him because I didn’t
want to ruin the relationship of our two families, but it turns out
that is what happened anyway!
Now he thinks I’m an idiot for not getting the right signals,
and because I didn’t want a relationship, it’s my fault that our
families are on shaky terms.
So now my question is, what should I do?
My brother has already invited him to go on vacation with my
family over Thanksgiving, and I don’t see how I’m supposed to live
in the same house with him for four days straight.
I can’t even think about him with out getting irritated about
the whole situation.
First off, I don’t see a problem with going on vacation with
him. I think you two should be mature about it and be able to be in
the same room together.
There was a friendship once and why should that be
If he is thinking it’s your fault, it’s just him trying to
blame it on you to make himself feel better because he knows that
he missed the opportunity.
He probably feels dumb about that. You both made mistakes
that you have to live with now.
You can’t blame each other. You also shouldn’t blame the
relationship between the families on you. This is not Romeo and
Don’t be surprised if he sees this vacation trip with your
family as a second chance to make a move. If so, be cool about it
and if he does make a move, just talk about it and don’t go crazy
Over the past year, my life has gone through some pretty rough
I am very proud of where I have been and where I am now, but it
seems as of late, no matter how hard I try, my life just can’t seem
to get back on track.
I am very optimistic and am grateful for the things I have, but
I beg to ask why bad things happen to good people.
Don’t get me wrong – I am no saint – but I always have good
intentions and feel that I am a pretty decent human being. As a
result, I have begun to re-question my faith.
I was raised Catholic and used to be involved in my church. As I
got older, I found a lot less interest and a lot more distaste for
My belief and relationship with anything related to God has
since been non-existent.
I wonder if my present circumstance is simply the universe
testing my ability to be a good person, similar to how Job’s faith
was tested in the Bible.
Do things happen for a reason or am I just a victim to the
randomized circumstances of reality?
I am not looking for a specific answer to a question; rather, I
am just looking for a perspective to reflect on.
Do you think God exists?
-A Doubting Thomas
I can’t give you a straight up answer to those questions.
This is something you should find out for yourself.
The same goes for why bad things happen to good
Bad things happen to everybody every day.
Sometimes, it seems that it affects good people more because
they don’t expect it and they question it more when they have faith
in a higher power.
In the end, we are all human and nobody is better than
anyone else. We all go through similar experiences, bad and
The only meaningful imagination which we can have of God is
that God is an endless and perfect being because somehow,
everything else wouldn’t be a God, at least in the Christian
God, one might say, is the biggest creation somebody can
If that’s an image of God, then he owns all the qualities of
greatness, which includes also the qualities that God
If He didn’t exist, He would miss at least one quality, the
quality to be and then it wouldn’t be God.
Therefore, God must exist because otherwise, the imagination
of him is without sin.
However, this is only true if you want to believe the
philosopher Anselm von Canterbury.
There are others like Immanuel Kant who think differently
and question Anselm’s answer.
Kant said that every image I have of the world is a concept
in my head.
I’m using my senses to make experiences, my understanding
shapes ideas out of that and my rational will help me to classify
However, I don’t know anything about anything, which is
completely outside my world of sensual experience.
When I look at the image of a perfectly pure essential form,
then it is a creation in my head.
If somebody concludes that God exists because he exists in
my head, it’s still just an image in my head and it doesn’t prove
At the end, it’s your belief and how you want the world’s
story to be told. Not even the brightest thinkers in the world can
fully answer this question.
Reach Tobias Jahn at: firstname.lastname@example.org
From vacations gone sour to a higher power
Show Comments (0)