Family is not always first

By Tobias Jahn

THREE’S A CROWD

I have always had a wonderful relationship with my father and
brother, but ever since this new guy started showing interest in
me, my father and brother have been treating me completely
different.

I have always been able to talk to both of them about nearly
anything.

They have both been wonderful male role models for my three
younger sisters and me to look up to. But until just recently, I
feel they have completely dropped the ball.

Instead of talking to me and showing me what they see may happen
with this relationship, they completely shunned me.

Even though my family loves him and can’t find one negative
thing about him, I feel the main reason my dad isn’t too excited
about us dating is he thinks there is too big of a gap between our
ages. Granted it is a big gap, but I don’t feel I look or act 19
and he doesn’t look or act 27. I need the maturity level of a 27
year old and I’m not willing to wait to start looking for one to
date when I’m 27.

How do you think I should go about telling my dad that I want to
continue dating this guy?

I know my older brother probably feels out of place since the
guy I’m dating is five years his senior, so it’s kind of hard to be
the protective big brother. Still, I know my brother likes him so
why can’t they all just be okay with it?

I feel like I’m dating three guys at once because they all want
a piece of me and I want to make them all happy.

-Exhausted

Dear Triple Dater,

Age doesn’t matter. It should never matter and it will never
matter. It only matters if the maturity of the person shows the
difference in the age.

I think your dad and brother have no right to say who you should
date.

Even if they don’t like it and don’t want you to date him, they
should just be supportive and accept your decision.

It is normal that you hate doing something that your dad doesn’t
like but it is part of growing up and there will be more times in
your life when you have to do something for yourself, which your
dad may not approve of.

Yes your dad and brother’s opinions are important and should be
important to you but they shouldn’t impact your decision.

You should make your own decision without other people telling
you what to do as long as these decisions are healthy and bring you
closer to happiness.

You can’t make everybody in life happy. Even if it means that
sometimes you have to make your family unhappy, remember you are
the most important player in your game.

Even if they are right and he isn’t what you see in him, it’s
just a learning experience.

Your dad and brother should be okay with you making mistakes as
long as you learn from them and try not to make the same mistake
again.

If you really want this relationship to work you have to care
less what your brother and dad say and start thinking about
yourself and what you want.

They are family but family comes second sometimes especially
when you what to build your own life.

Reach Tobias Jahn at: opinions@thepolypost.com

Family is not always first

Family is not always first

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