Ask me a Ques-Chen

By Valerie Chen

So, I’m in a long-distance relationship, and it feels
like a strain sometimes because even though having my space is
nice, the relationship takes so much more effort. I have such a
hard time coming up with things to do when we’re together, and I’m
also afraid that my boyfriend and I will run out of things to talk
about. How do I make a long distance relationship work? Like are
there things I should watch out for or something? I just have never
really done anything like this before. ” Far
Away

In general, romantic relationships take a large amount of work,
devotion and compromise.

Long-distance relationships necessitate greater effort.

However, when something or someone is worth it, one is willing
to devote that extra effort.

It’s a sacrifice that is justified by the greater picture.

Maintaining a long-distance relationship takes several extra
factors compared to a typical relationship.

Although every relationship is based on a foundation of trust, a
long-distance relationship requires this stipulation even more.

Technically, you cannot see or be involved in every facet of
your significant other’s life.

But rather than constantly question his every move and
whereabouts, trust that his commitment to you is valid and that he
intends to uphold it.

Moreover, long-distance relationships require good communication
skills.

Try to talk everyday, whether that be on the phone, through text
messages, e-mails or video chatting.

Send each other small surprises, write letters and try to pay
each other visits.

Even if you are not involved in certain aspects of his life, be
happy for him rather than jealous or controlling.

Be supportive and always have a willing and listening ear.

Although the majority of the time you cannot always be there for
each other physically, be there for each other emotionally.

Besides, a long-distance relationship has several benefits.

As you previously stated, having space can be valuable.

Rather than become a part of a couple that spends every waking
moment together, you have the liberty of focusing on your
individuality and spending time on school, work, family and
friends.

A significant other should not be your whole life ” just an
important fraction of it.

Also, when you do have time apart, you get to miss each
other.

Missing someone is a reminder of how much and why you feel the
way you do toward your significant other.

Nevertheless, try to cherish and enjoy your limited time
together. Do not add extra pressure or stress upon yourself.

No matter what, you two will enjoy each other’s company since it
is so infrequent. Keep the time spent together natural and
light.

Defy the distance; it is simply an ill-timed issue that should
not get the best of your relationship.

Talk about your future together. Long-distance relationships are
usually less casual because they take so much more emotional
effort. Stay hopeful and positive.

The fact that you and your significant other are willing to make
these added endeavors shows how much you care about each other.

The difficult times apart will be worthwhile each time you are
together again.

Don’t hesitate to ask me a ques-chen at
formspring.me/askmeaqueschen or send an e-mail to
opinions@thepolypost.com.

A mile in another man

Valerie Chen, Asst. LifeStyle Editor / The Poly Post

A mile in another man’s shoes

Ask me a Ques-Chen

Photo Illustration courtesy of Daniel Nguyen

Ask me a Ques-Chen

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