Everything causes cancer

By Daniel Ucko

Today, scientists around the globe made a grave

“Everything causes cancer,” they told the world.

OK, so no one actually said that. But we have all thought that
at least once in the past few years.

As technology advances at lightening speed and high-tech
computers, cameras, music players and robots have invaded our lives
and souls, no one seems to be able to find a cure for the leading
cause of death among Americans.

According to the Encarta World English Dictionary, cancer is an
illness or condition caused by the presence of a malignant tumor –
but not just any malignant tumor. That tumor can be found just
about anywhere. Whether it’s your brain, your breasts, your lungs,
or your colon, your entire body is at risk at all times.

And now, something new has been added to the ever-growing list
of cancer-causing substances.


Eating those fun little buttery morsels you pop in your mouth by
the handful during the movies has now become one more way to
contract cancer.

While it has just been determined that the risk comes from the
chemicals that coat microwave popcorn bags, the FDA-approved
artificial butter flavoring contains diacetyl, which is also found
in wine, cookies, candies, beers and cheese-flavored products.

So macaroni and cheese can cause cancer too?

Now that we know everything we eat can cause cancer, there’s the
other obvious ones: cigarette-smoking leads to lung cancer and
sun-bathing gives us skin cancer. And don’t forget that talking too
much on your cell phone might cause brain cancer.

So now we can’t smoke, drink, talk on the phone, or go outside
without fear of cancer. However, staying away from the sun brings
up other problems.

According to medical researchers, a lack of sunlight can result
in vitamin D deficiencies. Vitamin D is the only naturally produced
vitamin in the body, and is created when ultraviolet rays from the
sun strike the skin.

The ironic part is that it’s known to prevent certain types of
cancer. So too much sun causes cancer, but too little sun deprives
humans from the production of anti-cancer vitamins.

The fear of cancer has grown so much in modern years the
National Cancer Institute released a pamphlet entitled “Everything
Doesn’t Cause Cancer.”

The second sentence of the pamphlet says that 39 percent of
respondents in a cancer research survey said that cancer was their
number one daily concern among a list of diseases and physical

Even movies, those sacred stories that provide us with a break
from social concerns, are scaring us with the thought of

In “I Am Legend,” the cure for cancer goes drastically wrong and
wipes out the entire human population by 2012 – except for Will
Smith, of course.

But if you’re not Will Smith, what is there left to do?

The fear of cancer in the U.S. has taken over, and soon there
won’t be anything left to do or eat or drink without worrying about
contracting some form of cancer.

To that, I say stop worrying so much.

Hopefully, those hard-at-work scientists will brew up a cure
sometime soon, but at the rate things have been going that doesn’t
seem feasible.

Not to diminish the work researchers have been doing, but
instead of being consumed by the cancer phobia, we should live our
lives to the fullest.

A 2007 report by renowned scientists included in the “Everything
Doesn’t Cause Cancer” pamphlet revealed that approximately
one-third of all cancer cases could be prevented if everyone ate a
healthy diet and was physically active every day.

So instead of worrying about the sun and radiation from your
cellphone, put down the cigarettes and don’t be afraid to have a
little popcorn here or there or a few beers at the next party.

There are far more things that could kill you before the cancer
gets you, so concentrate on a balanced lifestyle and sober

Leave the cancer concerns for the doctors and the researchers,
and by the time we’re all 65 that cure just might be ready.

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