The Long Walk

By Joshua Manly

For those of you who have not yet parked in the messiah of
spaces known only as The Structure, please go do so now.

It’s ok I can wait.

Have you parked yet?

Was it everything you were hoping for, the ease, the grace, the
overall incredible joy that washes through you as you realize that
you just parked 10 minutes from your nearest class?

Rejoice English majors, for you have received millions of tons
of concrete that represent a smooth and easy stroll to buildings 24
and 5. Just please walk around the construction of the library, oh
and the solicitors, and possibly the civil engineering

Rejoice communication majors, the University has seen it
necessary to reward you for your hard work in having relations with
the public or reporting in-depth. The Structure has saved you from
that smooth downhill saunter from parking lot J, now three
intersections and an incline later you will be in the money class

Rejoice urban planners, the only thing standing between you and
parking in The Structure is the Matterhorn that climbs up to
Building 7. While intimidating to many first year students who find
out that their Intro to Anything class has been banished up that
forsaken hill, we the wise know to pack ourselves in to Shuttle A
like 9-year-olds at the Shrek 3 opening

This is not to say that a structure that houses more than 10
percent of the schools current parking spaces has been placed too
far off campus. Or that the police department on the other side of
The Structure is too obscurely placed, and would not hear a cry for
help unless it was screamed by the horses.

The Master Plan states that the parking structure is such a good
idea that we should have three of them. Three monstrosities with
nifty entrances, placed around the campus to house the gaggle of
vehicles that make the daily commute to Cal Poly.

Nevermind that the Master Plan is the real name of the itinerary
that Cal Poly is using to construct its new image as an educational
megalopolis. Never mind that the name Master Plan makes one think
of Dr. Ortiz as Goldfinger, with a tiny model Cal Poly rising from
the center of a table and a suave agent wanting to find out its
many intricacies.

I not only want to park in The Structure, I want to park, get
out, get back in my car and drive around campus just to park in it
again. The untold fortunes which have gone in to every ton of
cement make me feel a certain closeness with the new addition to
the campus community of constructions. At night it even has a
certain Eiffel Tower appeal with all of its lights, like the Iron
Giant playing with Christmas lights.

Rejoice students, you now have a guaranteed parking spot on
campus. Enjoy the promenade to your classes in the comfortable
summer weather and library construction. Feel comfortable in
knowing that the first thing people now see from the majestic 57
freeway is not the CLA building or the library, it is The Structure
in all of its majesty.

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